.honesty.

...how should I begin?

It's been quite some time since my last update for you and I apologize about that. So much has gone on in the past 2 weeks and its a little difficult to know exactly where to start...

While I realize that many readers of blogs enjoy living vicariously through others' experiences, brace yourself because this is NOT one of those times. Now, its not to say that the past 14 or so days have been all bad but I guess I'll just lay it out as plainly as I can.

My understanding of the 3-month internship that I would be completing was based on a rather vague conversation between myself and my advisor. Having already a close tie with the organization, I felt assured that a personal recommendation would have set me up for a very rich experience here. That being said, the day I finally met the Director of PRESANCA (2 weeks after I arrived in Central America) turned out to be the beginning of a downward spiral. I learned that the qualifications for this internship included past policy work experience and fluency in Spanish (neither of which I had). Having been ill-advised by my advisor and sent to Guatemala, I had learned that my being here was essentially based on false information. 

After a long meeting discussing what would happen next, I was told that I would sent to the municipality of Olopa and work in Tituque (a mountain community living in extreme poverty). The plan would be for me interview families and observe daily activities in the home with the primary focus of practicing Spanish as much as possible. Then in coordination with the current nutrition policy for the country, I would (with the direction of my supervisor) design my own nutrition project to implement in the community.... a pretty big undertaking but I was psyched!! 

So, Monday the 4th, I arrived, met local community leaders and officials and set off the next day on a half hour bumpy ride up to Tituque Abajo. For the first time, I felt like I was accomplishing something: meeting families, interviewing them, getting insight for my own project, etc.

Then came the news: after deliberation, my advisor notified me through email (cc'd to 7 different individuals associated with me, my university and the host organization) that my internship was terminated! The email was sent on Monday  (the afternoon I arrived in Olopa) and I had only the first chance to open it on Tuesday evening. SHOCKED!! Yeah, that's how I felt: she went on to say that "sometimes there is not a good match between student and organization and its best to send me home to the US". Now, after having to read her message a few good times, I finally surmised that in order to save face, my advisor decided to pull me from the internship because of the lie she told. But my question was this...why did I receive word of my termination through an email 3000 miles away when the Director and my supervisor were right there in the same town as me? Why would they send me to Olopa with a project in hand to then send me home? And better yet, why was I terminated at all? Within a few minutes of emailing the Director, I received a reply from her that we would discuss the whole situation the next day over the phone. (Just to be sure, that "next day" has yet to come, yesterday I was told she is in Europe for the next few weeks) 

So, I was left not knowing what my status was and whether I should start packing up my things. The next day, my supervisor (who's really called this more for ease of identification than her actual supervisory role) laid out the proposal: I would have 2 days to design a one month project. This project would be reviewed and if they accepted it I would have 4 weeks to implement and show results....if they rejected my idea, I would be sent home. May I just add that the deadline was on Friday, my 29th birthday! Happy birthday to me :( To my own amazement and with the help of God, I crafted a pretty comprehensive project that I was actually excited to work on...I felt refreshed, confident! On Sunday, though, I got word that my project was rejected because it was too intensive and showed that I had little grasp of the realities in the community. I was given 2 choices: work on a policy analysis, write an essay and present it to the PRESANCA team in Guatemala or be sent home. Completely frustrated and discouraged, I seriously opted to cut my losses and head home. While on Skype with my parents last night, I learned that although the supervisor rejected my proposal, the Director got wind of it and loved it! Not only that, but she has dropped the probationary deadline of 4 weeks and has given me the option of making this a 6-week or full summer-long assignment!

I'm very thankful for this newfound favor but I tread with caution.  I think that's what they mean when they say that living/working abroad teaches you many lessons about life. With the official summer season having yet to arrive, I feel as though I've already had my fill. Still, it'll be quite a finish line I cross when I do complete my full tenure here and travel back home in August.

...new post in a couple days to fill you in on the amazing stories from the field and pictures, too!